Dat tumblaaah!

WHEN SOMEONE BUMPS INTO MY DRINK AT THE BAR AND APOLOGIZES

howdoiputthisgently:

I’M JUST LIKE:

When security said that May Weekend was just a regular weekend and they weren’t doing anything different

lifeofabobkitten:

And then they turned into Nazis:

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yessssss

My advice on life

whatshouldwecallme:

A few years ago:

Now:

The only thing that should be in the guide for life. 

WHEN A GUY DOESN’T TEXT ME BACK

howdoiputthisgently:

I’M JUST LIKE:

Well this is working out well.

Okay, there are not a lot of things that make me angry. Academic related matters are really the only thing that usually invoke any kind of emotion from me. However, my emotions are not immune from the way people treat me. I’m not one of those people who are mistreated and then just let the person go when they are a dick to me. Actually, as some of my tumblr girlfriends may know, I am constantly getting dicked over by guys and THAT makes me an unhappy clam too! You’ve heard me vent a thousand times, you know this!!! 

There is this one guy who I seriously HATE now. He always ditches me for his one friends and even though he wanted me for the longest time now he is just being a bit rude to me and playing stupid games. He ditched me like 4 times this week for his best guy friend. I understand that this may be his best friend but does he realize we have two weeks left of the semester? I am not trying to husband him up but I am trying to get my pussy wet. He says he would wanna have sex everyday but I am certain he is asexual. I am so bitter about his guy love with his best friend. Like every time I see this guy with his bestie I wonder which one of them is the pitcher and which is the catcher. Whenever I see them leave together I always wish them (in my head, of course) that they have fun jerking each other off tonight. Maybe his best friend wakes him up with blow jobs in the morning and makes him breakfast in bed and uses bacon for anal beads or something. Oh well. Have fun eating out ass holes for the rest of the semester, you jerk. 

Phlegm.

I’ve been coughing myself awake in the morning lately. And coughing so much I can’t sleep. So basically I have a scumbag cough. Anywho I’ve been coughing up chunky phlegm and I have been thinking of how I like the feeling of hacking up gross phlegm. It’s like picking a prized booger out of your nose. One that you have been digging for and turns out to be a super satisfying find for whatever reason. Not only is coughing up phlegm my favorite, so is the actual word. It could be spelled ‘flem’ but it uses the ‘ph’ for ‘f’ and adds a wild ‘g’! How fun!! It kinda took the hard way to spelling the word which reminds me of myself. I always end up learning life lessons in painfully wild ways. I also always take the longer route to solving math problems and stuff. But I digress. I hope everyone has a phlegm-tastic day!