If I ever saw Kim Kardashian in person
Or Kanye West, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, the CEO of Walmart, that girl who hangs out with my crush, the inventor of diet coke etc etc.
So last week my mom bought me a block of cheese because like any sane person I LIKE CHEESE. I decided to have the opening ceremony of releasing the glorious block of goodness from it’s package when I looked at the label. IT WAS SWISS CHEESE. Have I failed my mom as a daughter? Is she mad at me about something? WHO GIVES SOMEONE A BLOCK OF SWISS CHEESE. That day I picked up the cheese from...
Why am I so awesome at life?
another fucking successful interaction with a man. SLOW CLAP, VIMIN.
nigga-moon: I have a plan to stop kony: Take plane, go to Africa, kill Kony, grab the kids, go to The Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and then wait for all of this to blow over.
“What a surprise, your world-view is food based.” -Jack Donaghey